He had to leave me because he was posted in another department

I was 23 when I had my first love. I am a medical intern and it was the time I freshly entered internship, I was all nervous because I was expected to treat and take care of patients when I wasn’t even sure if I am ready to be a doctor. It was a lot of pressure, I wanted someone to help me out with things, but I couldn’t get help from my friends because they were fresh too.

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I was posted in a surgical ward all alone but they said another guy would be accompanying me soon, my senior. Some days passed and the day came when I met him. It was surely not love at first sight. He seemed all odd and weird to my eyes. He has this really bushy curly hair that could hide a huge elephant inside it and he will be so thin and of almost my height which is such a turn-off coz I am into more tall and masculine guys. So as I said earlier it’s definitely not love at first sight!

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To add to that, he was of no help at all as I was expecting him to be. He dumped all his work over me and I had to listen to him as he is my senior. Daily he would come late, by that time I would have seen all the patients and would have finished putting notes too.

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Once, he gave me his number, and one day I had lots of work, I was running up and down to the ward and the OP, and I received a call from OT for some work. I already had too much work to do and this guy was nowhere to be found so I made a call to the number he gave, someone said hello, and I said in a very irritated tone, ”pls go to OT, I have work to do”. The voice on the other end yelled out, ”who is this? Is this an intern? Why should I go to OT?

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One day, it was the birthday of one of my professors and we all planned of cutting a cake, and I asked him to get a cake, he had plans to hang out with his friends that day so he went straight to our professor and asked him if he could do the night duty on that Thursday so that we could cut the cake on that day, I felt like slapping him. Who does things like that? He was a total nut case, I hated him to the core, I hated his smile, I hated his face, I hated his everything. He was the most irresponsible creature I ever saw in my life.

His jokes seemed funnier to me as time passed, and we started talking really well. We were doing night duties together and one night we were arguing about God. According to him if there is God, he would be the most selfish being ever for creating things his own way, for making some people suffer and giving fortune to some people as he wished, but according to me, God was love, everlasting love. He also says love is the most beautiful thing on earth.

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I also came to know that he was in a relationship with a girl for 6 years and he always says that she is the best thing that ever happened in his life. They had broke-up about a year back and he was unable to get over her though she was engaged to someone else. He pitied everyone that suffered. He was actually compassionate. It was totally unexpected of him; it was so beautiful to see compassion in a guy like him. He appeared all beautiful to my eyes suddenly!

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Now that he has become close with me he started coming early to help me out, he helped me out with almost everything, I was too relieved. One night, I was alone having night duty and I developed conjunctivitis, I just texted him to prescribe some good eye-drops. After some time I received a call from him, it was 12:45 AM, and he asked me to come outside and there he was, with the eye-drops at that time. He had travelled a km to just bring me eye-drops. I didn’t know how to react, I was totally moved, I doubted if I was falling for him. But I strongly said to myself ‘no’ coz I am this girl who puts lots and lots of rules to myself and I strongly stick to them no matter what.

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I am this control freak. My first rule is that I should never fall in love with a guy coz I loved my dad so much and I never wanted to hurt him. And I am really bad at making friends, I will be so reserved. And I never opened my heart; it was tightly sealed so that nobody can enter it. All I cared is about God and my family. I have received proposals but it has always been a big no. But this guy was making me feel different. I loved his company.

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One night we were sitting in a cafeteria, and he was sitting opposite me. He was all silent which was so unusual, he said that he wanted to share with me something that he has not said anyone even his closest friends. I was making fun of him for keeping his face serious and it doesn’t suit him but he dint laugh. He said that he has type-1 diabetes; it is a really rare disease! He loves to hang out with his friends and partying but he can’t eat what he wished and he can’t miss even a single shot of insulin coz that would endanger his life.

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Tears filled his eyes, he asked me ”now tell me, you say that god is full of love then why is he making me suffer, do I really deserve to get such a rare disease, and to add on to this my mom and dad are divorced. My dad is married to another woman, I love both my parents. I love my dad so much but my mom hates him, so I’m not allowed to speak even a word with him. I’m meeting my own dad secretly. The girl I loved so much left me and everyone I think that is really close to my heart left me. What wrong did I do? ” he was crying. I couldn’t watch him cry, I wished that I had some magical powers to make everything alright but I stood there powerless, I dint have any answer to give him. Even money can’t solve his problems. Tears swelled in my eyes. I didn’t realize then that he has passed a dagger and had cut my heart open.

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After that every day I thought only about him, how was he able to be like that. With so many troubles he will be laughing and making people around him laugh too. I remembered him preaching about love, how could he ever know what love is when nothing in his life showed what true love really is. On the contrary, I had everything in my life but still, I will be complaining and whining always. His heart was completely broken but still, he was passionate and compassionate with all those broken pieces. His heart was the most beautiful thing I ever saw, I loved it so much that I wanted to fix it myself.

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He had to leave me because he was posted in another department. Every morning all I wished was to see his face which I hated once. But I couldn’t meet him at all and that made me sad. I missed him so much that I cried every day, I longed to be with him. And we had worked at different timings so we couldn’t make time to meet at all.

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One fortunate day I got to meet him, he came straight and hugged me, all I could hear and feel was his heart beat against mine somehow I knew that he missed me too. I was totally melting away for this guy. I was so deeply and madly in love with him. I said, I love you and he replied I love you too.

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